AuthorEleanor Schmidt

Korean Food From Knowledge Essay Writers

The food in Korea is one of the defining elements of Koreans culture because of its historical background, environmental affinities, long lasting creative techniques and recipes, and use in traditional ceremonies and festivals. Modern day cuisine in Korea is quite progressed from what it once started as, but many of the same traditional dishes still play a major role in Korean diets. As Korea has evolved and gone through intense alterations, so has the food in this country.

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Major political changes have affected the eating palates of Koreans by changing both the amount of food available and the type of food that is consumed, yet traditional Korean cuisine has managed to survive into the modern day. The origin of Korean cuisine can be traced back to early myths and legends that have been passed down, generation to generation, throughout the years. Looking at the historical nature of Korea can also be helpful in showing the foundation of Korean food. The Three Kingdoms Period in Korea lasted from 57 BCE to 668 CE.

Because of this, government began to play a major role in coming up with new agricultural systems and techniques to help improve farming as well as other aspects of life. The first step that the government took in trying to help the peasantry was reduced taxation, which in turn prompted the opportunity to come up with complex irrigation systems leading to eventual increased trade with China, Japan, Europe, and the Philippines. New crops began to show up in Korea because of the government’s aid to commoner’s agricultural needs. Some of these crops included corn, sweet potatoes, chili peppers, tomatoes, peanuts, and squash.

One of the most important items introduced to Korea during this time period was Chinese cabbage, also known as brassica. Chinese cabbage was important because it would become the main ingredient in kimchi. As the Joseon period ended, the country was showing signs of massive improvement as well as signs of continuing trade with the Western World, China, Japan, the United States, Britain, and France. The exchange of food boded well for all countries involved. New cultural foods were being shown to Korea that they had never before seen.

The problem was that although crop production, especially rice production, was increasing most of these crops were being shipped out of the country. To make up for this loss, Koreans also began to increase the production of grains such as millet and barley for Korean use only. Under Japanese control, the way meals were eaten and served also changed Korean’s lives. Koreans began to eat only two meals a day during cold season and three a day during warm seasons. The meals became very repetitive with little variation on a day-to-day basis.

Live, Love, Garden

Kristin Cooper Live, Love, Garden Each morning I look out my window at our garden, and the surrounding trees. I listen to a symphony of birds, as the sunlight shines higher in the neighbor’s sycamore tree. A full night’s sleep leaves me thirsty, so I go to the kitchen for a glass of cool water. I know that the plants in the garden are also thirsty, and I venture outside to water them. The grass feels good between my toes and as I reach for a ripe tomato, a butterfly dips down into a flower. This garden is full of life, and I feel fortunate to know it intimately.

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Not only does my garden provide an abundance of organic fruits and vegetables that are healthier than most produce in grocery stores, but the work it takes to grow this produce requires constant physical activity that is great for physical health, and relieving stress. Cultivating a fruit and vegetable garden is a tremendously rewarding experience. A garden is a fertile piece of land with a collection of plants that are cared for by an individual or a community. A garden can be any size arrangement of flowers, shrubs, fruits, vegetables, herbs or trees. My parents taught me how to care for a garden.

We have five members in our family, with five mouths to feed, so we have a large garden. This garden is spread out across our entire backyard, with six fruit trees scattered throughout. Persimmon, apple, mandarin, orange, avocado, and lime all yield their fruits at different times throughout the year. We have a beautiful flower garden, with many varieties, as well as a dedicated rose garden. We have categorized most of the vegetable plants into separate garden boxes or planters. For example the herb garden box contains rosemary, thyme, oregano, cilantro, curry, and borage.

The salsa garden box contains various types of peppers, and onions. A third garden box contains zucchini, yellow squash, cantaloupe, and peanuts. We also have a planter with fifteen tomato plants, consisting of eleven different varieties. The food grown in these garden boxes is healthier than industrially farmed food bought in the store, because I am knowledgeable about how the food was grown. In fact we consider our garden to be organic, which requires using natural fertilizer, and not using pesticides, herbicides, and growth hormones, all of which are chemical products and these substances are harmful to humans.

For example, growth hormones make fruits and vegetables look bigger, and better, but without nutrient rich soil they lack in nutrients. On the other hand, fertilizer made from natural compost, decomposing plant matter is free of pesticides and herbicides. Fruits and vegetables grown organically can taste much different than store bought foods and that taste of extra flavor means the produce is higher in nutrients. Of the eleven different types of tomatoes in my family’s garden, each has a rich and unique flavor; store bought tomatoes do not compare. The oranges we grow are also much tastier than oranges I have bought in grocery stores.

Some oranges have a really thick peel, and once opened up, it is not a juicy treat, while the oranges from my tree, have a thin peel, and are dripping with juice. Eating organic fruits and vegetables instead of processed foods is vital for good health. Having a home garden provides an abundance of healthy food that is easily accessible. Our own backyard is a resource for much of the food we eat which has limited our trips to the grocery store and saved us a lot of money. Having the ability to pick fresh food from the garden has ensured that even when there is scarce food in the refrigerator, we still have plenty of healthy food to eat.

It is financially rewarding when a plant that costs as much as a few pieces of fruit, produces enough to feed a household for weeks. Sometimes a plant will produce a lot of ripe fruit and there is too much to eat all at once. When fruit is ripe it has a short period when it needs to be eaten, or it will go bad. I find it very unfortunate to watch good food go to waste, so I try to share what I can with my neighbors, friends, family, and community members. The orange tree in my backyard produces hundreds, thousands of oranges every summer.

With so much fruit, my family can eat oranges everyday and there are still a lot that never get eaten and rot away. My family’s solution is to share them with everybody, and when we still have leftovers we make orange juice. I start by picking a few dozen oranges, and cleaning them. I take them inside, and roll them on the counter to break up the pulp and make them juicier. The next step is to cut them in half, and then juice them using a manual or mechanical juicer. It takes some time and some muscle to make a pitcher full of orange juice, but the work is well worth the fresh, sweet and sour flavor that invigorates my taste buds.

The home squeezed orange juice is rich in nutrients, and healthier than store bought orange juice. The physical activity that is required to maintain a garden can help keep a gardener in good physical health. Juicing oranges is only a tiny part of the physical activity in maintaining a garden. Actually, there is a lot of work to maintain a garden, such as pulling weeds, watering plants, picking the fruit and vegetables, digging, planting, cultivating, pruning, fertilizing, etc. This work requires constant bending, stooping, kneeling, reaching above your head, and walking back and forth.

After a few hours of work in the garden I am as sore as I would be if I had gone to the gym. In addition to the physical work, at the beginning of each growing season there is a lot of planning to be done, especially since each season there are different vegetables that can be grown. When it is time to change the crops my family has to prepare the land and the vegetable boxes by removing old vegetable plants and weeds. Some plants have extensive roots and if they cannot be pulled out by hand it may be necessary to dig them out of the ground with a shovel.

First we evaluate the situation to prepare for how much work needs to be done, how many holes I will need to dig, and the size of the holes. When the holes are prepared, the soil needs to be cultivated and amended as final preparation before the planting. My family has a compost bin that we use to make natural fertilizer amendment for our garden. Compost is recycled plant matter that is collected in a bin, and given time it will break down into nutrient rich soil. To help the compost break down, it must be turned often. One of my brothers has a chore to turn the compost twice a week.

Turning the compost can take him from three to ten minutes. Using a pitchfork to lift the material from the bottom of the pile and place it on top, continuously until the material from the top makes its way to the bottom since the material on the bottom decomposes much faster. Once the compost is ready to use we till it into the surrounding soil, a pronged tool helps to mix this fertilizer into the garden soil. When the land is fertile it is time to put the plants in their holes, with a mixture of compost fertilizer, and untreated earth.

 

Learn How to Listen Effectively

Lectures can be dreadful, when not prepared and with a poor lecturer. But lectures can also be of much help for the students if they know how to listen effectively and if they are prepared. Here are some facts about how to listen effectively.

At university, a lot of information will be passed from the teacher to the students. Some information is more important than other information. Taking notes on what is really important is a vital learning technique that will help you to get through classes.

Be prepared
Let other worries be at rest when entering class. Keep a ”here-and-now”-perspective and focus on the teacher at all times. Social interaction can take place on other times. Get to class on time and be prepared for the lecture of the day. If you have studied the literature you are supposed to, you will find it much easier to pick up the important parts of the lecture.

Open mind and engagement
Keep an open mind during class. If there is something you do not understand, do not be afraid of asking questions. The things you understand, you can also remember. Active listening is all about asking questions and participating in any discussions started. Do it in a positive way, and search for understanding.

Do not be afraid or worried. That will only cloud your mind. The same goes with prejudgements. Try to leave those outside the classroom. Review what you know on the subject before entering class.

Interested
It is much easier to listen and remember what has been said when the topic is interesting. In order to get interested, you can use some easy mental training. You decide what you feel is interesting. It is your choice.

Keep the mind focused and get yourself set on the aim of the course. Do not hang around people telling you a teacher is boring or a class is boring. That will only influence your mindset negatively. Connect with people who think that the class is interesting to keep your motivation.

Look for meaning
It is no use trying to figure out certain words from the teacher. Instead, a good listener searches for meaning of the spoken words. Listeners often look for facts. That is not the deal with good listeners. Good listeners focus on the main ideas, the concepts and the vital issues. Facts are just details at university lectures, ideas and concepts the core of knowledge.

Adjust the note taking
The note taking of the class depends on the topic discussed, on the teacher and on your pre-knowledge of the subject. If you are new to a subject, more substantial notes have to be taken than if you know a subject well. List what is important for your understanding, and try to grasp the concepts of the lecture.

Speed Reading Tips: Environment

Ever try reading in the dark? Okay, you can’t read in the dark, obviously. But I think you get my point. How fast you read, regardless of what course you take, is going to be directly affected by your reading conditions.  It’s obvious that better conditions make for faster reading.

Key things that you ought to do in order to make the most of your reading conditions are as follows:

Proper Lighting

This is probably one of the biggest statement in the history of reading. But do you REALLY know what proper lighting is? Do you know where to place your lighting? Truth is, light in the wrong place can make reading a total nightmare.

Lighting should be placed at an angle so that there is NO glare on the actual reading material. You don’t want a light that is too bright. A standard 120-watt bulb in a properly placed lamp, usually just off to the left or right of you, should be more than enough.

Never try reading in a dark room. That’s a great way to not only slow up your reading speed but kill your eyes in the process.

Proper Seating

Ever try reading when you’re not comfortable? It’s not fun. And believe it or not, sitting in an uncomfortable chair or in an awkward position WILL slow up your reading speed. Comfort is going to be different for each individual so I can’t give any specific tips on seats, positions, etc. When you sit down to read, you WILL know whether or not you’re comfortable because eventually, if you’re not, your neck will begin to hurt or get stiff, not to mention other body parts as well.

It might not seem like a big deal, but the more comfortable you are when reading, the faster you will read.

Proper Temperature

If you’re scratching your head wondering what temperature has to do with reading speed, you might want to read this section very carefully.

Did you ever try reading in a very hot place? What usually happens? You begin to sweat. The pages of your book start to stick together. Your hands are so sweaty that you have trouble turning the pages.

What about when you try reading in a cold place? Your fingers start to get numb. You can’t grip the pages properly. And I haven’t even touched on what happens to your eyes when it’s too hot. Sweat starts to pour into them. Suddenly, you’re spending more time wiping your eyes than reading.

It may not seem like a big deal, but reading at temperatures between 68 and 72 degrees are most ideal for reading speed.

Try reading in a sauna and you’ll see what I mean. These 3 simple environmental tips should greatly increase your reading speed.

Are You a Workplace Quitter?

Begin at the beginning and go on till you come to the end: then stop.” (Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland, quote from the King)

The message in Lewis Carroll’s quote is not to stop until you come to the end. If you stop before the end then you will have quit.

The first time I lost Chutes and Ladders to my little brother I told my mother I would never play the game again. Needless to say she made me sit down and play three more games with that “little brat”, my brother. She told me “one should never quit”. After four games with the “little brat” the end result was a two-two tie.

Unfortunately, I was not happy with a tie, therefore, I urged my brother into a couple games of Trouble, where I constantly kicked my brother’s “little behind”. A couple years later when we both progressed to the game Battleship he kicked my behind. I have to admit he was quite good at Battleship so I continued to lose but never quit. (Years later he ended up at the Coast Guard Academy so it was not a surprise I lost!)

But my story is not about the games we played but what we learned. We both learned not to be quitters. We were taught not to be over aggressive, but to be persistent and not to give up. I think this was a very important lesson because it has helped me today in my career. I try to communicate this lesson to those on my staff and young people entering the workforce.

I cannot tolerate people who are self made victims or quitters. I could not tolerate them in the schoolroom or the playground when I was young. I cannot tolerate them in sports or in life and I cannot tolerate them in the workplace.

Today, a 45-year-old male employee walked into my office and quit his job after only 4 months on the job. It really irritated me. It did not irritate me that he quit; it was the “why” he quit that irritated me.

There are times when we choose to move on from our jobs. When we feel that we have made our contribution and there is no more to contribute than its OK to move on.  If we believe the match to the job is not right for us, or if we get a better opportunity after a certain amount of time, then certainly under those circumstances choosing to move on is not quitting. Quitting is when we choose to move on because the job is difficult, we need to work a little harder, we may need to struggle a little before we get the momentum we want or we just do not have the patience or persistence to do the job.  This is what this man did; he quit because he did not want to invest the time and energy into getting his momentum going. He felt he was not as immediately successful as he wanted to be therefore he was moving on in order to seek an easier path.  We are not always immediately successful in what we do, but if we do not try we will never see the outcome.

Quitters in the workplace should take some lessons from athletes.  Good athletes experience many failures along the way to success.  They know how be patient, they know how to work towards goals, they are persistent and they do not quit.

In these economically difficult times we have to learn to be patient and persistent.  We need to find ways to succeed because success will not be handed to us on a silver platter. Employees need to remember not to become self-made victims and managers have to face up to their responsibilities and encourage and coach their employees.  We need to remember not to give up after our first attempt, or we will never become a winner, only a quitter.

Kinds of vegetation for Balinese gardens

Balinese home gardens usually talk about the exotic lawn of contemporary design, motivated from the home gardens of Indonesia. In Contemporary Australia, currently Indonesia design home gardens are judgment most of the home gardens. Why not, after all the feeling of relaxed atmosphere it provides is unusual and just unmatchable. With lot of plants, it keeps your house and the nearby awesome and at the same time it makes you feel like you are vacationing in Indonesia.

Creating Balinese lawn is not hard at all if you want to do it by yourself. You simply need to have some exotic vegetation that can completely make exotic aspect. Usually, rich exotic appearance and those with blossoms are the types that are associated with conventional Balinese designed home gardens. But, alternatives for vegetation are restricted to this. You can opt for any local flower that provides the feeling of exotic location. Some of thoughts are distributed below:

Foliage Plants
Modern Balinese lawn design focuses on appearance, as a result of the convenience of servicing it provides, plus helps you to save the attempt to substitute current vegetation with periodic vegetation. If you are looking for splashes of shade, there are several appearance types available in stunning colours. Some of the most popular options are Hands and Ferns, Cordylines, Plants with wide appearance like Attractive apples, Alocasia, Aglaonema and Dieffenbachia. Bamboo sprouts bedding also works well in this type of lawn.

Regional plants
By selecting right exotic vegetation, you can make a groundwork of a different flavor, for example, Indian, Southern region Hawaiian and main – The United States. To make Indian style, just flower orchid blossoms in your lawn and you are done. In the same way, choose local vegetation for style you want to make.

Bold feature plants
Loosely disseminating strong feature vegetation in decorative bins or in the earth can make interest and will sketch attention of the visitors. You can also use spiky flower to make neat places to see in the lawn. Opt for large bromeliads, Furcraea and Bismarckia hand (while young) for strong feature vegetation.

You have to be innovative while planning for Balinese home gardens. Incorporate right vegetation and get a Balinese lawn you can be extremely pleased of.

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Budget Interior Design Can Be Chic

When you are thinking about budget interior design, please do not think it has to look boring or cheap. With budget ideas, you can also have chic. It just means using a little imagination and creativity!

For example, let’s take your curtains in your living room. You are bored with them and want to replace them. But all the new ones you love are far too expensive for your budget.

What can you do to have the curtains of your dreams? Well, there are ways to have the curtains that would be perfect for your living room.

Go to your local thrift shops and see what they have. You will be pleasantly surprised what you can sometimes find.

It’s just being there at the right time. Maybe you could even leave your phone number with an idea of what you are looking for with the sizes. I am sure they would like to sell them as they come in rather than fill up space in their shop.

Visit a local fabric warehouse style store. They often have end of line rolls of fabric on offer and then if you are able, you can make your own curtains. If this is difficult for you, then they will probably have a service in the store or find a local curtain maker.

Go on line and check out fabric suppliers or discount curtain prices. There are some great deals to be had for budget interior design ideas.

If you are creative, look at your existing curtains and think about how you can change them. Maybe you could change how the are hung. For example, if they are on a track, you could sew a contrasting panel on the top and sides, sew on tabs and hang from a pole. Add some interesting tie-backs and hey presto, a brand new look!

One of my favorite ideas to give your windows a totally new look is to hang a plain fabric behind and then a dramatic voile in the front. This really softens the look of your room and is very different. I have many a friend who has seen this in my home, loved it and gone on to do the same in their home.

You can create a brand new look by having blinds at your windows with a soft fabric curtain at the sides. The choice of blinds is endless, vertical, roller, cane, wood or fabric.

If your existing curtains are plain in color, try stenciling them with a design. Maybe pick out a color that is in your room, such as on the walls or the color of your sofas. You have to use fabric stencil paints but these are easily available from local DIY and craft stores.

Unravel Me Book Review From Essay Writers

Essay writers advise to read Book review: Unravel me

Картинки по запросу unravel me
While I was wrapped up in the relationships morphing throughout the story, eventually Juliette as an individual started to piss me off a bit. While it is her story and we’re viewing the world through her lens, there’s only so much angst I can take that revolves around self-chastisement and internal wavering. She is no longer the lost and lonely girl who we met in the first novel; she is part of a society with others she can identify with and who support her in a multitude of ways.

Kenji might be my favourite character. He definitely is in the moment quoted above. I think I literally cheered out loud when he laid it out for Juliette like that. Of course her life isn’t suddenly a cakewalk, but there are bigger things going on; she’s getting lost in the minutiae of the negatives she’s personally experiencing and forgetting that there’s still a big, bad world out there that’s falling apart. I think I’d be more forgiving if this characterisation were happening in a contemporary tale, but as it’s in a dystopian world it elicited a harsher reaction from me.

I know people had a similar problem with Tris in Insurgent. When I talked about that book, I noted that I also found her character frustrating at times, but it was in a way that I actually loved. I don’t want to compare everything about these two trilogies (especially since I’m biased with Divergent as my favourite), but I feel it’s pertinent to note that what made Tris’ shortcomings more bearable than Juliette’s, for me, was the balance they had with what was happening in the overarching plot line. In fact her feelings were sometimes mirrored in the societal developments. In the Shatter Me series, I feel that the plot is not strong enough to buoy this lead character’s downfalls.
Best essay writers write ALL THE PRETTY WORDS.
Hope. It’s like a drop of honey, a field of tulips blooming in the springtime. It’s fresh rain, a whispered promise, a cloudless sky, the perfect punctuation mark at the end of a sentence. And it’s the only thing keeping me afloat.”

Infertility

I told myself I wasn’t going to write about this. I wasn’t going to share the hurt and heartbreak that we’ve been going through. Honestly, for as long as I could remember I didn’t think that I wanted a child. I have never been particularly drawn to children. I think they are adorable and I love buying gifts for them. It wasn’t until I actually had the amazing experience of being a god mother that really hit home for me. I love those two little boys more than anything. When my husband and I decided that we wanted a baby I thought we might have to try for a few months but ultimately we’d have a baby just like everyone else. However, one, two and finally three years past and our baby never came. Casey had testing done when he had Testicular Cancer in 2009 and we knew that everything was normal with him. It was my turn to get checked out.

We went back to the fertility doctor. She is very positive about our situation. After running some tests we were given the go ahead to try our first IUI ( intrauterine insemination). We were so very excited. The doctors told us it was all about the power of positive thinking. We let ourselves hope with all our hearts. I stopped using “if” we have children, and started using “when” again. We patiently (okay probably not patiently) waited out the two weeks agonizing over every symptom I was feeling and wondering whether or not the procedure worked.

We debated and debated over whether we would tell others. Casey didn’t want to tell anyone because he wanted it to be a surprise but I felt so much joy I had to tell my family. You know how that goes, before I knew it, almost everyone in my family and extended family knew. We were all praying that this would finally be our blessing. Last week we found out it didn’t work. At first, I wasn’t that upset. I think I was just telling myself that maybe it was a fluke and the test was wrong. But a few days later I found myself crying, with the most empty hollow feeling inside. My fragile hope had shattered and I desperately tried to put the pieces of it back together. We talked with the doctor and she wants us to proceed with our second IUI. I’ve begun taking the fertility medication once again and we will go for the procedure on March 5th. I still am not sure how to feel about it. I am still excited but ultimately wary. Of course, I still want a baby of our own more anything but I’m also scared of my heart shattering into a million pieces again. Having to tell everyone the procedure didn’t work was the hardest part. Everyone was so excited for us. I thought I may not tell anyone about the second try. That way if it didn’t work I wouldn’t have to tell anyone. But, ultimately I needed to shed the emotional burden of having to carry this secret. We suffer from infertility. It’s hard to see other people with their beautiful little children. It’s hard to see photographers posting maternity sessions on Facebook, it’s hard not to be jealous of the teen moms who had their babies on an accident. I find myself unfollowing and unfriending people on Pinterest and Facebook because it’s too hard to look at everything we want but haven’t been blessed with. It’s hard not to question why. Why us?

However, after all that we’ve been through we know this is just one more obstacle that we must overcome. This is our story so far.

Infertility Etiquette

It’s been awhile since I’ve sat down and looked at this entry box with hope. First, I would like to say thank you to those who reached out to me on Twitter, Facebook and email about yesterday’s post. I appreciate it more than you know. I’ve re-instated the comments on my blog posts again and I’d love to hear from you. The first topic on my mind today is infertility etiquette. I’ve talked multiple times in the past about our infertility experience and sometimes I think that my friends and family, although well meaning, just don’t understand. I came across this article recently and wanted to share part of it with you.

Infertility is, indeed, a very painful struggle. The pain is similar to the grief over losing a loved one, but it is unique because it is a recurring grief. When a loved one dies, he isn’t coming back. There is no hope that he will come back from the dead. You must work through the stages of grief, accept that you will never see this person again, and move on with your life.

The grief of infertility is not so cut and dry. Infertile people grieve the loss of the baby that they may never know. They grieve the loss of that baby who would have had mommy’s nose and daddy’s eyes. But, each month, there is the hope that maybe that baby will be conceived after all. No matter how hard they try to prepare themselves for bad news, they still hope that this month will be different. Then, the bad news comes again, and the grief washes over the infertile couple anew. This process happens month after month, year after year. It is like having a deep cut that keeps getting opened right when it starts to heal.

As the couple moves into infertility treatments, the pain increases while the bank account depletes. The tests are invasive and embarrassing to both parties, and you feel like the doctor has taken over your bedroom. And for all of this discomfort, you pay a lot of money.

Reaching a resolution can take years, so your infertile loved ones need your emotional support during this journey. Most people don’t know what to say, so they wind up saying the wrong thing, which only makes the journey so much harder for their loved ones. Knowing what not to say is half of the battle to providing support.

Most importantly some things NOT TO DO:

Don’t Tell Them to Relax

Everyone knows someone who had trouble conceiving but then finally became pregnant once she “relaxed.” Couples who are able to conceive after a few months of “relaxing” are not infertile. By definition, a couple is not diagnosed as “infertile” until they have tried unsuccessfully to become pregnant for a full year. In fact, most infertility specialists will not treat a couple for infertility until they have tried to become pregnant for a year. This year weeds out the people who aren’t infertile but just need to “relax.” Those that remain are truly infertile.

Comments such as “just relax” or “try going on a cruise” create even more stress for the infertile couple, particularly the woman. The woman feels like she is doing something wrong when, in fact, there is a good chance that there is a physical problem preventing her from becoming pregnant.

These comments can also reach the point of absurdity. As a couple, my husband and I underwent two surgeries, numerous inseminations, hormone treatments, and four years of poking and prodding by doctors. Yet, people still continued to say things like, “If you just relaxed on a cruise . . .” Infertility is a diagnosable medical problem that must be treated by a doctor, and even with treatment, many couples will NEVER successfully conceive a child. Relaxation itself does not cure medical infertility.

Don’t Minimize the Problem

Failure to conceive a baby is a very painful journey. Infertile couples are surrounded by families with children. These couples watch their friends give birth to two or three children, and they watch those children grow while the couple goes home to the silence of an empty house. These couples see all of the joy that a child brings into someone’s life, and they feel the emptiness of not being able to experience the same joy.

Comments like, “Just enjoy being able to sleep late . . . . have a trip . . etc.,” do not offer comfort. Instead, these comments make infertile people feel like you are minimizing their pain. You wouldn’t tell somebody whose parent just died to be thankful that he no longer has to buy Father’s Day or Mother’s Day cards. Losing that one obligation doesn’t even begin to compensate for the incredible loss of losing a parent. In the same vein, being able to sleep late or travel does not provide comfort to somebody who desperately wants a child.

Don’t Say There Are Worse Things That Could Happen

Along the same lines, don’t tell your friend that there are worse things that she could be going through. Who is the final authority on what is the “worst” thing that could happen to someone? Is it going through a divorce? Watching a loved one die? Getting raped? Losing a job?

Different people react to different life experiences in different ways. To someone who has trained his whole life for the Olympics, the “worst” thing might be experiencing an injury the week before the event. To someone who has walked away from her career to become a stay-at-home wife for 40 years, watching her husband leave her for a younger woman might be the “worst” thing. And, to a woman whose sole goal in life has been to love and nurture a child, infertility may indeed be the “worst” thing that could happen.

People wouldn’t dream of telling someone whose parent just died, “It could be worse: both of your parents could be dead.” Such a comment would be considered cruel rather than comforting. In the same vein, don’t tell your friend that she could be going through worse things than infertility.

Don’t Say They Aren’t Meant to Be Parents

One of the cruelest things anyone ever said to me is, “Maybe God doesn’t intend for you to be a mother.” How incredibly insensitive to imply that I would be such a bad mother that God felt the need to divinely sterilize me. If God were in the business of divinely sterilizing women, don’t you think he would prevent the pregnancies that end in abortions? Or wouldn’t he sterilize the women who wind up neglecting and abusing their children? Even if you aren’t religious, the “maybe it’s not meant to be” comments are not comforting. Infertility is a medical condition, not a punishment from God or Mother Nature.

Don’t Ask Why They Aren’t Trying IVF

In vitro fertilization (IVF) is a method in which the woman harvests multiple eggs, which are then combined with the man’s sperm in a petri dish. This is the method that can produce multiple births. People frequently ask, “Why don’t you just try IVF?” in the same casual tone they would use to ask, “Why don’t you try shopping at another store?”

I appreciate all the support we’ve received and while we haven’t counted out fertility treatments yet, we are currently taking a break from treatment. I never understood why people stop treatments due to the stress but now I completely understand. Hearing things like if you just relax, stop stressing and the most hurtful of all, maybe  God doesn’t want you to be parents, do not, in any shape or form help the couple at all. They are very hurtful words. So, if you have someone in your life that is going through infertility a simple I’m sorry means very much to them. It’s hard not to lose yourself in the grief of never knowing what could of been. If I bow out of a social occasion or take a break to walk away and cry, it has absolutely NOTHING to do with you and everything to do with grieving.